70.

Hello babies, photo for you? Whoo, i like to see big big photoz on my blog. Do you? Huahua :B

 

Picture of the day :

Ohmygosh, work sucks like shit today. (Dead tired!) I'm like dying anytime soon, but i'm going to endure and save energy for tomorrow. Will not be turning in late today, apologies to my dear 'night-life' netzfriends. It's going to be a great day tmr, brothers and sisters. We're going to rock em' down yohz. We're going to fug that dawg in that tight ass. \m/

69.

Apparently the parent-teachers' conference was a total waste of time. Every year the teachers say the same thing, aren't my parents bored abt it? (Except for year 2008) Main point here is 'Joyce is able to do it, but she cannot sustain doing something for long. She has the potential but she just has to try harder.' as for the comments in the report book part, it's always 'Joyce has to be more focused and attentive in class. She has the potential to do better in her studies.' Ah, fuck! Enough is enough, i've seen this too many times. Basically, to kick that fucking fucked up shit in me, thank God there was Cathrine and Liling there after parent-teachers' conference, so we headed to bubble tea to get a quick bite and cigarettes then headed over to the science centre. Okay, i know we're not the very studious looking people and i've no idea why we've chosen/agreed to head there but in any case, we still did. Spend the entire day over at Science centre, pictures over at Cathrine's side so will be uploaded till she uploads it. ;) Wait patiently, readers.

At the mean time, i'm talking to my very almost wonderful brother. :')

Brother Soh, thanks for being there and talking to me with great words that indeed inspired me. But i just want to let you know that, at this point of time, please don't ask me to give up on Calvin. Because giving up is not the way out and it's not what i want at all. If you could, encourage me and give me some words of inspiration that's going to give me more courage to face a better tomorrow. You've always been that oh-so-awesome brother to me that i'd never want to lose. At the end of the day, although we might have drifted a hell lot ever since last year, i just want to let you know that you're always that wonderful brother that i never regret acknowledging. Luvyou, bro.

Okay fuck life and fuck everything. I'm fucking tired of what i'm having to go through, those whom i talk to very lately, i bet you'd know the reason behind this tiredness. I cried once more while looking through the most meaningful album i have in my com, the one that's on first place in my heart, those pictures that keeps running through my mind with the memories. Dear boy, i love you. ♥ Those things that we've gone though, the super tough times, only we know how difficult it was but we managed to walk through it somehow. Nobody is in the right position to judge or to say anything, search deeper and look at things from a different perspective, you're going to find something different. Luvluv, phats. :')

68.

Have been giving school a miss alot very lately. I'm just too sick and tired of my insomnia that i can never wake up in the morning and make it for school. Yes, my night is the morning. (My cousin loves to spot this fav. mistake of mine) Well, i'm just going to start updating my blog and kick that laziness away a little. Heehee ;)

15th October./

Met up with Ernest and Marcus and was suppose to go for some job interview with them but end up, they're too lazy to go because the time was a little too rush. So it was a wasted trip for me to head down to novena. Went over to B.'s place to wait for him to finish bathing, he was being accompanied all the way to tuition by 3 people. Blessed much? Well, and while waiting for him to end his fucking tuition, the 3 of us headed over to toysrus. Hilarious i swear, damn epic. Those moments were... nothing but plain laughter! Phatty bee ended his tuition and then we headed over to Macs to settle dinner, honestly i don't know if phatty bee is a retard or what uh, i tell him i don't want the fucking curry sauce on the burger he still go dip then give me the fucking last bite. Phat's need hearing aid soon, i'd get you one soon. >D Headed over to the carpark to slack where the boys went fucking crazy. (!@#$%^&*) So many passerby looking at them yet they still play so openly. *hiding my face somehwere* Oh well, something definitely spoilt everyone's mood aftermath. Fucking slut, watch your back.

*There's something wrong with the photo uploading,

therefore, i guess i'd not be able to upload the photo. Sorry for the inconvenience cause.

20th October./

Met up with my dear cuppycake and headed to town. Saw a few familiar faces at the smoking area, great night that's all i can say.

Bapok at cine. (Hilarious fuck!)

21st October./

Met up with Shuyi and Cathrine at woodlands under Shuyi's block then went over to the coffee shop then headed over to Republic Poly for awhile to see someone's eyecandy. (aww) Then after that headed to Haji for sheesha. Practically spend the day at Haji, left at 7.30pm then headed over to Parklane to meet some people then went to eat over at some Hong Kong Cafe at 10pm. Homed only at 12.30 and was fucking dead tired. *humph*

*More photos over at facebook, blog's being a bitch now. Uploading failed thrice already, i give up!

67.

Happy 8th Suppose-To-Be Monthsary, babyboy. ♥

Thank you for the tightest hug and the sweetest kiss yesterday. Despite having to lose you, i still yearn for you. Like what i've always said, i'd be there to accept you with wide open arms even if you're at your worse. I'd not walk away from you like how you walk away from my life, neither will i bare to watch you suffer like how you watch me suffer.

到了今天, 我的心从来没有离开过你. 每一天怀念的人还是你, 挂在脑海中的也是你. 我不知道我为什么会等待一个相爱却不能相守的人, 我也不明白为什么会这样执着的等待这样一个只能相爱却无法相守的人. 對不起, 我愛你. 我无法把你忘了, 我更加不能不爱你.

Ctyw xoxo./"
/} 二月十五日, 二零一零年.

66.

If you look inside my heart and see how much i cry everyday. You'll find secrets, promises and lies. But what you'd see most is how i tried to stay strong when nothing is right and everything seems to be wrong. For one simple reason, because i still believe and love you. I can't let this go. :') I'm sorry for being so stupid as to not knowing what to say to make you stay.

Therefore, i'm just going to pray to God:

"Dear Jesus, i come to you now with a broken heart & weary spirit. I don't know how i can carry on each day knowing that a part of me had already gone, and might probably not return anymore. Can i ever be complete again? Can i ever smile once more at the coming of a new day? Day after day, i miss him more and more. Day after day, my longing grows but it can never be fulfilled. How can i possibly live my life again? How do i overcome this feeling that i'm now all alone and i shall always be alone or the rest of my life? How do i let go? The places we've been to, the celebrations we had together, they'll never be the same.

The emptiness in my heart is so big that i can no longer breathe sometimes. The pain of separation seems more painful to me than death itself. I don’t know how much longer i can carry on. Oh Lord, how could he forget his promises? How could he throw away in a moment all the things we have built for the past 7 months? Was it my fault? Tell me where have i done wrong. Show me my sins, flash them before me so i may know. For i do not understand how all these things can be happening right now. I don't understand how something so good can suddenly end up the way it is today.

Please help me Lord, i really don't know what to do. Only your words can comfort me. Only your embrace can soothe my pain. I've given everything i could my Lord, and there's nothing more i can give. I kneel down before you now, crushed and broken, empty and afraid to be alone. Hide me under your wings, hold me in your loving arms. Say unto me again how much you love me. Say unto me that you've called me yours and you will never ever let me go.

Though men may fail, you remain faithful, steadfast and immovable as a rock. Though men may judge me for all the faults they see in me, you see my heart and reveal to me the beautiful soul you see in me. Help me to let go of my pain, teach me to forgive those who don't even ask for my forgiveness. This burden is something i shouldn’t carry in my heart.

Amen! Amen! Amen!

♥150210./"

-Ceetee (K)