66.

If you look inside my heart and see how much i cry everyday. You'll find secrets, promises and lies. But what you'd see most is how i tried to stay strong when nothing is right and everything seems to be wrong. For one simple reason, because i still believe and love you. I can't let this go. :') I'm sorry for being so stupid as to not knowing what to say to make you stay.

Therefore, i'm just going to pray to God:

"Dear Jesus, i come to you now with a broken heart & weary spirit. I don't know how i can carry on each day knowing that a part of me had already gone, and might probably not return anymore. Can i ever be complete again? Can i ever smile once more at the coming of a new day? Day after day, i miss him more and more. Day after day, my longing grows but it can never be fulfilled. How can i possibly live my life again? How do i overcome this feeling that i'm now all alone and i shall always be alone or the rest of my life? How do i let go? The places we've been to, the celebrations we had together, they'll never be the same.

The emptiness in my heart is so big that i can no longer breathe sometimes. The pain of separation seems more painful to me than death itself. I don’t know how much longer i can carry on. Oh Lord, how could he forget his promises? How could he throw away in a moment all the things we have built for the past 7 months? Was it my fault? Tell me where have i done wrong. Show me my sins, flash them before me so i may know. For i do not understand how all these things can be happening right now. I don't understand how something so good can suddenly end up the way it is today.

Please help me Lord, i really don't know what to do. Only your words can comfort me. Only your embrace can soothe my pain. I've given everything i could my Lord, and there's nothing more i can give. I kneel down before you now, crushed and broken, empty and afraid to be alone. Hide me under your wings, hold me in your loving arms. Say unto me again how much you love me. Say unto me that you've called me yours and you will never ever let me go.

Though men may fail, you remain faithful, steadfast and immovable as a rock. Though men may judge me for all the faults they see in me, you see my heart and reveal to me the beautiful soul you see in me. Help me to let go of my pain, teach me to forgive those who don't even ask for my forgiveness. This burden is something i shouldn’t carry in my heart.

Amen! Amen! Amen!

♥150210./"

-Ceetee (K)